Posted by Expert Gadget Reviewer on Friday, 3 September 2010

At 1:30am the other night, I. CUT. BANGS. Not hard core Heidi Klum bangs but just enough to make me feel like I was making a huge change, breaking a pattern. The bonus is that they cover the ever-deepening worry lines on my forehead. It's one of those things you do, and while you're doing it, you feel like a superhero. Like the bangs are gonna change my world. Here's what I'm convinced these new bangs will do:

1. ...will bring about a new job for Scott,
2. ...a mass manufacturer for Mod Mom Furniture,
3. ...a quick answer to whether or not our daughter has a learning disability,
4. easy transition for my son in his new school
5. ...bring world peace.

Oh, and lastly, make the SHARK TANK casting process go smoothly. So far, in the two minutes since I received the "Congrats you made it to the second round of casting for SHARK TANK" email, I'm NOT FEELING THE POWER OF THE BANGS so much. DAMMIT, BANG POWER...ACTIVATE!!

Shorter, maybe they need to be shorter.